A simple conversation is all it takes. I didn't know that my anxiety was still bubbling until a few minutes into a phone call and I found myself in near tears, almost ready to pick a fight. I took a breath, and then another, told my friend that the words were hurtful to me, even if not intentioned and we worked through it together. A simple communication of feelings on both sides and an understanding reached, and now, in reflection I can see that that moment and the resulting time connecting helped me relieve the anxiety.
How can I not be thankful for anxiety relief? How can I not be thankful for communication with openness and love? How can I not be thankful for the healing provided tonight?
I am thankful, grateful, blessed even. I sit here now with tears of gratitude in my eyes for someone who so cares about me, loves me, and sees me. This year has been incredibly challenging for so many of us and though there is much I think I would change, I know that because of this year I have forged an intimate bond that feeds my soul.
I started this year with my word of intention: adventure. I know that this year has been an adventure, though not the one I pictured with ample hiking, a backpacking trip in Colorado, a weekend in Sedona, and so much more. I have hiked, I have backpacked even, though not in those places and I never made it to Sedona. Adventure has found me in the chaos of 2020 and I have found adventure. In the adventure I have found love and gratitude and community.
I have been blessed with an incredible mentor, one who leads with so much heart and compassion that I am humbled and in awe. Speaking tonight with him helped me heal my heart and soothe my anxiety. How can I not be thankful?
Tonight the gratitude pours off me in waves, gathers in the corners of my eyes as tears, and pounds through me as my heart beats. Gratitude for a soul connection.
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