Wednesday, December 28, 2011

FB and parenting choices

So due an overly hectic December I have been neglecting my blog. I'll have to catch you all up on the gory details in another post, but right now I have to vent a bit about parenting, FB, social media, etc. So a few nights ago I posted a FB status about wanting B to sleep, a few friends got my reference and a few sympathized with my plight. A few others also commented and while it wasn't offensive, it really got under my skin.

First off let me say I LOVE my kids. And secondly let me say so does my hubby. That being said we have been struggling with sleep issues with B. She had ear tubes put in in early December due to frequent ear infections and we hoped and prayed that those would assist her sleeping, well not so much as it turns out. We have tried multiple solutions to getting her to sleep and stay asleep (everything but cry-it-out). She is honest to goodness worse than a newborn most nights, up every 2 hours or more frequently. Honestly we could stand that IF she slept the first part of the night, say from 8-12 (or even 11) without waking, but she doesn't. On the particular night in question and the nights previous to it B would sleep in our arms peacefully all night, but would not sleep 5 minutes (not exaggerating here) in her crib. Can you imagine the stress that this puts on me as a parent and hubby and our marriage? Well it's a lot! Hence the FB post.

I am not going to apologize for my FB post (nor am I going to repeat it here, but the gist is from a book read by S. Jackson). Honestly it's FB, we all say stupid things, but it's a sounding board. Wouldn't you rather me sound-off on FB than on my kids? And seriously people think about what you are posting, just like you would think before you speak. I personally tend to think more about my FB posts/comments sometimes than when I actually do speak. Social media doesn't allow for inflection or any of that, and sometimes without meaning it you really get under someone's skin. I have thought about this FB post and the responses for days. WHY?  I felt like I was being judged and ridiculed because I was exhausted, frustrated and just wanted my daughter to sleep!

Not only did I feel like I was being judged, but that my parenting choices were being judged and found lacking. Hubby and I are doing our best but we are living in a very high stress situation and well we don't always cope with it well. I'm sorry (well I'm not really) that hubby and I made the choice to NOT let our children cry-it-out and that we have let our children sleep in bed with us. I will NEVER forget snuggling a newborn hours old to sleep in my own bed, nor waking to find a baby crawling over hubby to come snuggle with me. I cherish those moments, but sometimes I would like to be in bed with just me, or just hubby and I, and no baby. B has not let that happen in about 10 days and well that's stressful too.

So I hope that you all can imagine now what stemmed this FB post. And well if you found it offensive, honestly- I don't care! If you don't want to listen to me sound-off then you can remove me from your FB list. Enough of my ranting and raving.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

How I do it....... YOGURT

So I have been experimenting with dairy this past month or so, and decided to attempt making yogurt in my crockpot. Here is the site where I got the original recipe, but I have modified it a bit. Everyone told me it was easy, but I honestly didn't understand how easy it really was. Prior to today only my family had enjoyed our yogurt, but today we shared it at our preschool for the Thanksgiving feast. It was a big hit and I had multiple requests for the recipe, so here it is.

Equipment:
  • 1 crockpot (mine is a large 7qt, use the largest you own)
  • polar fleece blanket
  • some form of a timer
  • candy thermometer (optional, but I highly recommend, mine was $10 at Meijer's)

Ingredients:
  • 1 gallon of milk
  • 1 8oz container greek style yogurt- plain (I used the yoplait brand because it was on sale)
  • 1 cup sugar (or other sweetner, you can use more if you like it really sweet)
  • 1 probiotic capsule (optional, I have them in the house for my kids when they are sick)

Directions:
  1. Pour 1 gallon of milk into your crockpot.
  2. Turn on LOW and heat for 4 hours. Set a timer to remind yourself, I use my phone.
  3. Check the temperature at the 4 hour mark, you really want it close to 185 to make sure you have killed any bacteria already existing in the milk. If it's not there leave it for about 30 more minutes.
  4. Turn off and unplug your crockpot.
  5. Stir in your 1 cup of sugar/sweetner.
  6. Let the crockpot sit covered to cool for 3 hours. Set your timer again.
  7. Check the temperature at the 3 hour mark, it should have cooled to about 119. If not let it cool another 30 minutes.
  8. Ladle out about 1 cup of hot milk into a clean bowl and stir in the store bought yogurt (when you have made your own yogurt, you can just use your remainder) and the probiotic capsule (if using).
  9. Add the yogurt mixture back to the warm milk and stir well.
  10. Cover your crockpot and wrap in a warm blanket.
  11. Let it sit for 8-10 hours overnight undisturbed.
  12. In the morning open your crockpot and you should have yogurt (about 1 gallon worth)!
Now I should note that some will say you can enjoy your yogurt immediately, and others say you need to let it finish setting for 10-24 hours. We have enjoyed it immediately and let it sit. Generally I let it sit a day to "finish". Also if you like thick, greek style yogurt you can strain in through cheese cloth to thicken it.

My only other note is PLEASE check the capacity of your crockpot prior to starting. The directions for a smaller crockpot would be less milk and shorter times, I would recommend you go here (the recipe I originally started with) if you want to compare.

Hope you all enjoy!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Parenting, partners and thoughts

So we went to an interesting talk last evening hosted by our preschool. It a was professor from the local university speaking about marriage, the good, the bad, the ugly of it all and conflict. It was a really great lecture. Taught me stuff I didn't know and demystified some myths about marriage and conflict. The overall concept was that conflict is a part of marraige.

One of the major things that I took away from that lecture was that physiologically we can become attuned and primed for conflict. If you are always in conflict your body will think that this is the norm, hence it makes it difficult for you to be in a calm state. The lecture focused on marriage and conflict, but this physiological aspect made me reflect on my personal parenting issues (see previous posts) and started me thinking that I have primed myself into conflict (ie my temper) with my kids. I have become so accustomed to the yelling that my BODY (not just my brain) thinks it's the norm. THAT my friends was a wake-up call. So today I started the journey, again, to maintain my temper better with my children. It's a struggle, a BIG one for me. And now I somewhat understand why- I'm not only fighting my own emotions, but a physical reaction (see increased heart-rate, blood pressure, adrenaline pumping).That adrenaline rush is a great feeling, so to have to restrain yourself from it makes it all the more difficult.

The other focus from the lecture was positivity and your partner. If we could spend 5 minutes a day personally reflecting on the positive aspects of our partner then we would build physical (ie neurological) pathways that would eventually overtake the traditional negative pathways that our brain likes to take. Our brain is generally wired to immediately fall along the negative path when things get stressful, but by positive daily reflection you are literally changing the way your brain processes information. When the conflict arises in your marriage your "new brain" will have an easier time staying positive or at the very least not harping on the negative.

So my reflection for the day about my hubby- he is a dedicated father, hardworking at his job and at home and he loves me for who I am (neurotic as I may be).

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Mother-in-laws

So following the previous post about my not being a supermom I wanted to chat for a minute about my mother-in-law. My hubby's mother is a wonderful woman with a great heart and soul. She was technically a single mom, but really raised my hubby and his adopted brother with support of her sisters, brothers and wonderful family. It's a bit complicated to explain, and I won't go into it here and now but it's a neat story.

So I wanted to say that my mother-in-law who came up last week (or maybe the week before, I really can't remember which!) had the unfortunate experience to witness me at some of my worst mommy moments. From the screaming in the morning (and afternoon) to the exhaustion in the evening my mother-in-law never said one word to me about my behavior. And that my friends is the mark of an amazing woman. It's one thing to see a mom in the store or spend a day with her and watch her for a few moments at her worst with her children, but to spend 4 days living in someone's house and witness all that she did and still remain calm and quiet it's remarkable. So my dear mother-in-law, THANK YOU!

Thank you for understanding that we were at our limits and not treating me (or my hubby) like children and chastising our behavior.
Thank you for listening when we just felt the need to complain.
Thank you for being there with hugs for the grandkids.
Thank you for watching them while our sitter was busy.
Thank you for taking baby B in the middle of the night when hubby and I were at our whits ends.
Thank you for taking us out to dinner and saving us the chaos of making dinner.
Thank you for your silence and your love.

THANK YOU. Thank you. thank you.........

SuperMom or not........

So following a FB discussion with a friend of mine about "supermoms" I decided to blog about how I am only human like the rest of us. We all have our moments and the general consensus is that most blogs we read about moms appear to be supermoms who never lose their temper, scream at their kids, etc. Well let me tell you I AM NO SUPERMOM.

I have a horrible temper! Anyone who knows me can attest to this, especially these past few months with little sleep from Miss B, our entire family has had a very short fuse. I hate when I lose my temper with my kids because they are being, well kids! The reality is that some mornings we can't be awake for more than 10 minutes before the yelling begins. It's awful! So again, to all of you out there wondering how we do it, I am not always cool, calm and collected. I can and do lose my temper and yell, and I will admit that my children have been known to flinch from my yelling. Personally I don't like the yelling and I know that it is not effective, but when you are as stressed as we have been for the last 6+ months  it just happens. I know that is a crappy excuse, but it is what it is. I am trying to change my ways, but it is so easy to slip back into horrid habits (and horrid is the best way I can describe it!)

I love the concept of peaceful parenting, but honestly sometimes it just doesn't work when you have four little ones. I feel like so many of the parenting books these days are geared towards those with 1 or 2 kids or more kids that are further spaced apart. I have yet to find a resource for a mama with four kids 4 and under who is neither a stay-at-home mama nor a working mama (which is another blog for another day). So, supermom I am not when it comes to parenting and disciplining my kids.


Let me give you an idea of how most mornings go at our home:
  • boys wake up in their room and talk for a few minutes, which quickly progresses to DJ screaming NO! repeatedly and Al crying.
  • Hubby or I go in and say lets get up, get dressed and calm our bodies and voices down
  • DJ yells NO! (don't you love the two's?!)
  • Parent leaves the room to get dressed, check on the girls, etc.
  • Yelling and crying continues in boys' room
  • Parent yells out to boys get dressed, get moving, etc.
  • Yelling and cyring continues
  • S is in the hallway talking to the boys over the gate not getting herself ready.
  • Parent asks her (again- likely the 3rd or 4th time) to leave them alone and focus on herself.....
  • Myself or hubby loses temper and begins yelling (really loudly) to get up, get dressed, go potty, make beds. Doors, drawers, etc. get slammed in the process.
No this is not an exaggeration, but a typical morning at our home......... *sigh*
It will get better I know, but for now we keep trying to make our mornings, our lives filled with less yelling. So you remember when you're reading those supermom blogs, we are all human and I bet each and everyone of those supermoms has yelled and lost their temper with their kids. I know I do, and I'm not a supermom.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Where have we been

Well, some of you may be wondering where we (I) have been. Life got a little out of control the past 2 months. Between preschool restarting, finishing up data collection on a few subjects, planning and hosting a birthday party and getting minimal sleep I haven't had a chance to update this blog! And yes I promise pictures to come soon.

So, first things first: The dissertation is getting there. I have had 3 subjects successfully complete the intervention portion of the study and all three are just waiting on their 1-month follow-up. I unfortunately had to let one subject end participation early due to lack of progress, but I did enroll another subject! My current subject who just enrolled is a joy (not that the others haven't been), but I get lots of hugs (unprompted and usually unexpected) and he's just FUN! The only drawback is that he lives about ~45minutes from my house, so lots of driving......... oh well!

Our little baby B has had 2 ear infections in the past 6-8 weeks, so on top of usual crankiness this is just making things worse. We are praying that she is not following in her big brother's footsteps in needing tubes, but if she gets another ear infection in the next month we will be going to the ENT. I do not want to risk her hearing or language development. On top of the ear issues, she's still not sleeping, we had one magical night a few weeks ago of 7 hours of sleep from her in her crib in her S's room, but nothing since then.....*sigh* We are working at trying to figure out what is going on with her sleep issues, but our own lack of sleep makes it difficult. I think we may begin tracking all of her sleep, eating, diapers, to try to find out what's going on...... I'm sure my sitter will love that.......

Speaking of big brother DJ turned 2! When I started this blog I had in mind that on each of my child's birthdays I would post something special about them. Well, I missed his, but I will try to get something up about him. He started at the preschool this fall and is generally loving it. It's a great opportunity for him to be separate from his siblings and find his own way.

So Al and S are now in the same preschool program (last year Al was in the Two's like DJ). We were really concerned about them, mostly about S bossing and directing Al around. I think this happened a bit in the beginning, but when I was there on Tuesday they were pretty well separate. It should be an interesting parent-teacher conference next week.

I love my children's preschool. They attend a co-operative preschool, where there is loads of opportunity for free play and parent involvement is mandatory. They have everything from dress-up to free-art, directed art to imaginary play, sensory activities and lots of time for gross motor play. One of my favorite things about our preschool is the gross motor time. They have a great outdoor space and they rarely let things like weather prevent them from going outside. I was looking at pictures the other day on their FB page and there were so many of them outside in their winter gear just playing. It is so important to me both as a parent and as a PT that kids get outside and move their bodies. This preschool is a great fit for us and personally I love the chance to come and work in the classrooms with my kids. If you ever have a choice between a co-operating preschool and a traditional one, my personal choice would be a co-operating one.

So I hope that answers where we (I) have been the past bit, and I will be making more updates now that I will not be gone 5/7 nights a week doing dissertation study visits.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Mommy guilt

As a mom I experience my fair share of "mommy guilt". Don't we all? I shouldn't have said that, done that, etc. Somedays are certainly worse than others, and as my hubby will point out my temper is worse when blood sugar is low, so mealtimes are probably the worst. Days like today when B falls asleep in the car on the way home from the farmer's market sound like a great way to get a meal ready, but then tempers flare in the kitchen because to me it is more important to get my kids food ready than me. So today I got their lunches together and in the midst B woke up and I had to let her cry while I finished preparing (mommy guilt #1). I hate leaving her in her car seat screaming, but it's faster to finish the task at hand sometimes than grab her and get back to work.

After fixing the 3 lunches I grabbed her and fed her, because I knew she just needed to eat and get back to sleep. Well in the midst of feeding B I heard commotion in the kitchen. Lord only knows what was going on, but DJ's plate was on the floor and S and Al had eaten some, but not a lot. My temper flared and I sent them off to bed with the instructions to put away the milk cups and leave out their lunch- they could have it for snack. B was carrying on in her crib while I got DJ ready and found that S and Al had thrown all their food in the trashcan. Temper continued to flare and stupidly told them no snack today since they threw their food away. Well we haven't had snack yet today, but I will give them one, since it was mommy temper (major mommy guilt) due to low blood sugar that started the whole escapade.

Managed to get a little food in my belly since B had fussed herself to sleep (more mommy guilt) and wallah! temper fixed. I hate when I miss the signs that lead to me to have a temper due to blood sugar.

On the flip side of mommy guilt I REFUSE to have mommy guilt about dropping my kids off at the Y daycare (even if I just picked them up from the sitter) so I can squeeze in a run. I run/exercise for me so I can be healthy for me and my kids.

To take a note from friend. Today's lesson: sometimes mommy guilt is good and sometimes it just stinks!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

You know it's Monday

You know it's Monday when......
  • you didn't get any sleep last night because the baby decided to cry inconsolably whether she was in her crib, being held or in your bed
  • it starts pouring right about the time you want to leave for the morning
  • there's no hot water for your shower at the YMCA after a good run
  • the frigid cold water in the YMCA shower has almost no pressure so it takes forever to feel clean
  • your potty training child goes through 2 pairs of training pants (and shorts) before noon and has to leave the YMCA in a rain coat, shirt, shoes and training pants
  • the two youngest fall asleep in the car after the YMCA on the way to pick up the older siblings
  • your potty training child then has a tantrum and pees himself in his carseat after picking up the siblings from camp
  • the side of veggie fried rice you have with lunch is spoiled and you don't discover it until you take a bite
  • your overtired second youngest child (aka the potty training one) doesn't want to take a nap when he clearly needs one........
  • your laptop battery is dead when you are a subject's home and you don't have the charger with you
  • you are 30 minutes late to your second appointment
  • you start getting a migraine at your second subject's home
And you know it's been a Monday when you have to finish your post about Mondays on a Tuesday....

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Sleep and potties and birthdays

Two things on my parenting mind..... sleep and potties.

We are currently potty training DJ and well it was rough going from the start, he's just such a different guy from his older siblings, so much more independent. Well about 2 weeks ago I had him peeing on command, which I always feel like is the first major hurdle in potty training, and now it's down the toilet! He's back to not peeing at all on the potty (or maybe once a day) and I'm just frustrated! I know he's still young, but he had been so interested in peeing on the potty that I didn't want to deny the opportunity. Oh well! He'll get the hang of it soon. I'm hoping that he will be somewhat trained by the time he starts his preschool in the next month- I can dream right?!

The other major parenting issue we are facing is sleep with B. She had been a pretty good sleeper up until the last month. Now she was never sleeping through the night (defined as 5 hours of continuous sleeping), but she did sleep a 2-3 hour chunk at a time. Well, lately it's been 90 minutes on average, which makes for a long night. The worst part has been that the first part of the evening, the time usually reserved for cleaning up dinner, working on school stuff and relaxing- she's been awake. Which can be pleasant because hubby and I can enjoy some quality one-on-one time with her, but most of the time we are just switching off who is working on putting her to sleep. I am praying with all my might, that most of the craziness has been due to building up to Al's 3rd birthday party, but I just don't know. I do know that these past two days I have been working really hard at making sure she is napping well (ie at least 1 hour) and she is settling easier at night. Hopefully we are finding a rhythm that works for her, because the lack of sleep is a major stress to hubby and I. We are also working at moving her out of our bed for some of the night, because, lets face it- babies are cuddly and warm and wonderful, but sometimes you just want to sleep and not cuddle.

On a tangent today is Al's third birthday. I can't believe he's 3! It seems like just yesterday he was a baby. We were sitting in the room he was born in (now his sister's) reminiscing a bit. He seems so grown-up now and I know in a few month DJ will be 2 and a few after that B will be 1. How the time does fly. It's so sad in many ways because we know these are the last of the baby/toddler/preschool years and they just fly. Hubby and I realized that we have to register S for kindergarten this fall, something I never thought I would have to do in the state of KY, but since we are still here it needs to be done, as well as applying for the lottery for the Spanish immersion program. My babies are growing up too quickly! WAAAH!

Well I clearly can't leave you all on such a sad note, so I'll say that I had a subject drop out of the study, but it was OK because I had another fill the space that evening!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Birthdays, camping, the PhD and poison ivy

So I haven't posted in a while, it's been a crazy life (more than usual). I forgot how difficult it is to manage my family, write for the PhD and collect data for the PhD. My data collection process is seriously time intensive. I am at my client's home 3 times per week for 7-8 weeks for a minimum of 30 minutes, but usually an hour. Doesn't sound too bad at first, but make it 2-3 clients at different times of day (to make it the most conveient for the clients and not me) and different ends of the city and I feel a little nuts! I try not to complain, since this was obviously my choice, but it does make for an interesting week. I really enjoy my time with my clients, so if any of you are reading this don't feel guilty please!

In the midst of this we have had 2 birthdays and a camping trip. Hubby had his birthday on the 4th of July and we just had Al's 3rd birthday party although his actual birthday is next week. Hubby's birthday was fun- we finished up our camping trip on the 4th and had to pack up everything in the rain, and then the car wouldn't start. It's days like that that I am glad we camp with a group, two of the wonderful men in our group helped us take down the tent, pack the car and give us a jump. Thank the lord for them! Took the hubby out to dinner and had a rude server....... enough said. Poor guy- it wasn't the best birthday, but at least we were all together!

Al's party was a blast, we invited his friends from preschool and the neighbor kids. Gotta love that the preschoolers behaved better than the neighbor kids, who a) bossed around S and b) shoved and scratched S and Al, and maybe even DJ. I'm just thankful that he did not mess with the preschool guests. I have to say that my kids are better behaved than this going into 1st grade boy, who once told me "I don't have to say please and thank you to you- you're not my mom!" A special thank you to my parents, mother-in-law and aunt-in-law who all helped wrangle kids and clean my house for the party and supply it with food and drinks and balloons. I hope you had a wonderful time. I know we all did.

So I mentioned we had our second camping trip of the year, which I would generally say it was a success minus the car trouble, my poison ivy and the tragedy that struck our good friends. We spent most of the time at the pool or the kids swinging on a vine like Tarzan. We did learn that DJ does not like to be in the tent in a storm, he would prefer to be out in the pouring rain than be in a blowing tent. Poor little guy!

Did I mention poison ivy? I HATE poison ivy. We cleared out our back fence line a few weeks back and I didn't think anything about it. There was NO poison ivy visible. Then hubby came down with a spot on the back of his knee which swelled up and looked nasty. Doc said it was eczema and gave him steroid cream & pills. Well we now know hubby is allergic to oral steroids because a few days later he had strange marks (probably hives) all over his body. Which when we came to think of it, this is what happened last time he took oral steroids for poison ivy. A return trip to the original doc said oops! I was wrong it was poison ivy not eczema- duh! we could have told him that. Now while all that was going on I was fine, except for a very small irritation on my lower left calf, which spread across the front of my left ankle and foot. When I finally gave in to see the doctor they decided I had poison ivy as well and gave me topical cream, since I am breastfeeding and I don't like to take anything I don't have to take. Well, we'll just say that the cream did essentially nothing when it spread to my other leg, belly, arms and a breast. Gave in a started taking oral steroids, which thankfully I am NOT allergic to. I am still recovering from the poison ivy and unlike my husband my skin is scarring from it.

So my friends I hope you can forgive me for not posting for a while, as you see the crazy life of this mama has been a bit more crazy

Monday, June 27, 2011

Random facts about us

So you know about my kids, me and the hubby and the PhD (which I started collecting data on 2 subjects!). I thought I would fill you in on a few other things about our family and our choices. After reading this I am sure you will call me crazy.


So first of the random things. I use CLOTH DIAPERS! Yes I do! I love my cloth diapers and have used them since S was born, in fact baby B is wearing diapers that S wore. Now isn't that cool!  I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it means about 2 extra loads on laundry a week, which since I have been doing it for 4 years it's just routine at this point. I have always had at least one in diapers and no more than 2. That means that S was potty trained before #3 (DJ) was born and that Al was before baby B was born. We are currently working on potty training DJ, which hasn't been going too well, but he so wants to use the potty that I refuse to put him in diapers. Anyways, back to the cloth diapers, we use basic prefolds, Bum Genius, Kissaluvs, and Tots Bots. I am currently loving the tots bots more than my bum genius which I have used for 3+ years, no sorting required, just stuffing! And in case you were wondering we use cloth wipes as well.


Another random thing and very important one at that: I am a breastfeeding mama. I support all forms of breastfeeding, whether it's the traditional mom & baby or the mom without enough milk getting milk from another mom, I really believe that breastmilk is the best thing for our babies. I have breastfed each of my children for as long as possible, which was usually until something with the next pregnancy made it too difficult. My worst moment was when I found out I was pregnant with baby B and had to stop nursing DJ because he was actually falling off the growth chart and literally starving. My milk was coming in, but it was not in sufficient enough calories to keep him healthy, so we had to switch him to formula. I felt like a failure, since I had been able to nurse Al longer and only supplement with goat's milk (yes, I said goat's milk) until after his 1st birthday, which was quite a feat seeing as that Al and DJ are 14 months apart. I have a wonderful friend who has chronicled her pregnancy & breastfeeding journey, if you are in need of some inspiration from someone who did not find it as easy as I have. Visit her blog here. If you want to know how I manage breastfeeding and school I use a pump when I don't have baby B with me, but for classes I have been blessed with understanding professors and have been able to bring all of my children at point when they were babies to class with me.

Last random fact: I had 1 hospital birth and 3 planned homebirths. S was born at the hospital and the rest at home with a midwife. I believe that women should have choices in birth, whether your choice is an epidural or birthing at home in a pool women need to be informed of all the choices and the consequences of their choices. Looking for an interesting read? Check out the book Pushed by Jennifer Block to find out more about the birthing and women's rights movement. Being a pediatric PT I was more than aware of what can happen to babies during and after a difficult birth and still made the choice to have my homebirths. While not everyone has supported hubby and I's choices to have homebirths I would not change things about them. How many of your husbands/fathers/partners have been able to "catch" their baby? Mine has!

If after reading this and previous posts you don't think I'm crazy, then YOU must be crazy!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The PhD

So it has been a while since I have posted anything, so I thought I would tell you a little about my PhD. As I said before I am pediatric physical therapist by profession and training and currently a PhD student. It has not been an easy journey, and while I know that no one has an easy journey to earn their PhD there are days I feel mine has been fraught with more complications than others. Complications aside it has been an interesting journey.

The current status on the PhD is thus: I am back in data collection mode. After spending 4 months away from my hubby last summer, with 3 kids in tow and baby B in the belly, I thought I would be done with data collection. The verdict with my committee late this spring was that my previously collected data would be considered pilot data and a chapter in my dissertation. Not what I wanted, but the bright side is that it is at least in the dissertation and not tossed aside. I won't get into the whys and major details of what happened, but the basic argument was that my data was not sound.

So moving on....... at this point you may be wondering what my dissertation is? Well I am investigating the use of the Nintendo WiiFit balance games for children with developmental disabilities. Basically I am trying to see if playing only the balance games will improve the balance, walking speed, hip strength and activities for children with developmental disabilities. I did a very similar project last summer with children with cerebral palsy and had generally good results. I took my pilot data and tweaked the project a bit to create the dissertation study. So the participants in this study get a really good deal: FREE IN-HOME physical therapy (no Wii required, I bring one if necessary), $80 if they complete the entire study and a chance to win their own Wii & WiiFit. Know of anyone who may be interested? Participants must live in Lexington, KY or the surrounding counties and be between 5 and 10 years old and have a diagnosed developmental disability.

Enough selling my study for now. When I'm not doing data collection I am writing. For anyone not involved with a PhD you may have no idea how much writing there is involved, I can honestly say I did not expect quite this much. I will say that sometimes I struggle with writing, but we all do at times. My current writing projects are to update my review of the literature chapter, which is going to be crazy since it was originally written for children with cerebral palsy alone, finish my pilot study chapter and update my current study chapter. WHEW! That's a lot. On the plus side I was invited to write an editorial and I finished that the other day. When I have a reference link I will post it.

So you must wonder how I have time to write, data collect and be a mom. Sometimes I wonder how I do it. I owe loads of credit to the hubby who has amazing patience for me when I say I have to write. We also have a great flexible sitter. We generally book her 3 days a week, sometimes more, sometimes less it all depends on what I need.

I will say this, never let anyone tell you that you can't have kids while pursuing your PhD. It can be done. It will make things more challenging and may take longer, but hopefully they give you the comedic relief that is sometimes absolutely necessary. And when someone from school says things like "oh you're pregnant again, not just fat?" keep your mouth quiet, smile and remember it is YOUR JOURNEY.

Friday, June 10, 2011

How I do it........ the POOL

So how do you go to the pool with 4 kids and 1 adult?
I think most people would say no way, can't be done, you're nuts, crazy, etc. Seeing as how we have already established that I am not your typical crazy, but a special kind, I decided to take the adventure of taking my 4 to the Y pool.

First off we went after nap so they were all well rested and full of energy, which may sound like it makes it more difficult for me, but sometimes the higher the energy level the easier they can be to control. Secondly our local Y pool has a nice zero-entry (wade-in) area and then this area I knew at least S could walk across and probably AL as well, so that just left me with baby B and DJ. Worst case I figured I could bring baby B to the playroom and best case hubby would make it in time to join us. Luck was with us and I didn't need to bring baby B to the playroom, but hubby was stuck at work.

So how did I do it..... well we all started in the super shallows and for the first 45 minutes I just sat with B in my lap and DJ splashed right near me. Miss S and her brother played all over the shallow area. I was able to see them, and I while I was uncomfortable not being within arms reach of them, I had to realize that this is just the first of many times I will have to be out of my comfort zone when it comes to certain situations. S has had swimming lessons for the past year so she has a halfway decent doggy paddle if necessary, but the shallows don't require swimming though she did for fun. I was trying my best not to laugh at her attempting to backstroke on her own! She was so cute!

I should mention that prior to leaving the car I reviewed the rules of the pool with the older two:
  1. NO RUNNING
  2. The LIFEGUARDS are in charge of EVERYONE, including the adults.
  3. No splashing
That being said I was confident in my their ability to follow the rules. I really believe that in some situations if the parents have faith in their children the children will excel, and today they did. They came out of the pool nicely when it was adult swim, no real complaining and sat on our blanket nicely with a snack, while B had a snack too.

Our second voyage into the pool little DJ suddenly became adventurous. He was chasing a beach ball all over the shallows and headed towards the water over his head. Once he discovered the deeper water that was where he wanted to stay and play. S found a friend from her preschool and played with her while AL tagged along.

Overall it was a great trip and I may be repeating it again on Monday and throughout the summer. Questions?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Camping, part 2

Ok my friends, due to numerous comments from all of you I am expanding the camping/relaxation post.

So my crazy family camps in a tent. A one room, 12' X 10' tent. How do we all fit you may ask? Well it's pretty easy while the kids are little. Three in their sleeping bags, hubby and I together with baby B between us. The only other stuff in the tent are our clothes, shoes, towels, diapers and a potty. Everything else is stored in the car. When we were a smaller family I used to keep our dry goods in the tent, but there is no room now.

I love my tent I have to say. It's fun all sleeping together and it makes tending to the kids much easier. The biggest hassle is bedtime & naptime keeping little hands to themselves and staying in one spot. I really want a pop-up for the conveince of storing things and not having to pack the car as we do, but I love my tent.

The great thing about camping the way we do currently is that we camp with our church group. It's great to arrive and assistance setting up the tent, managing the children, etc. I have a difficult time picturing us doing it without them. In fact since we have had our children we have not camped on our own. I know we can do it, but somedays I'm leary. I love my camping group, we share meals (breakfast & dinner) which can be challenge at times when you have little kids who want to eat sooner, but it really makes it much easier. I also love that my kids usually have someone to play with, whether it's an older child or teenager or another adult. We all look out for one another's kids and camping in a group means the kids have a larger area to run and play.

Our group I have to say is one of those groups that I used to envy as a kid. Did you ever go camping and see a group that was laughing, having a great time and lots of kids playing? Well that's us! We'd love for you guys to join us camping sometime. While it is a church group, we are not in your face about religion or bible thumpers. I have to say that most of the extent of our religiouness (is that a word?) is praying before meals and those who attend mass while we are away on the weekends. We're a laid back group and would love for you to join us!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Relaxation

So I'm sure you're wondering how we relax in this crazy household. Truth be told it's difficult at times, I can't think of a time recently where we sat and watched a movie (or even a show we had on DVR) without interuption from children who were sleeping. We do our best to set aside a little time to relax at the end of the evenings but lately it's been crazy. Too many chores and a little boy who just won't sleep make for long evenings and long days. (Ever notice that I write these posts late in the evening?)

So we took this weekend and went camping with our wonderful church group. While camping can be stressful sometimes for this family just leaving the confines of our house is relaxing, at least for me anyway. We spent the days swimming & hiking and letting the kids just play outside. It was wonderful! Of course I now have massive laundry to do, including my sleeping bags, but the weekend was great and the kids are asking to camp again. That's what it's all about, making memories and enjoying my kiddos while they are still little.

So how do you all relax with your family?

Friday, May 27, 2011

Four kids

I have started and restarted this post a number of times over the past 24 hours. I don't know how best to describe my kids to the outside world. They are funny and loveable and crazy and MINE!

I can't put into words how I feel about my kids. I love them dearly, and they amaze me frequently. And sometimes they frustrate me to no ends. Currently DJ (20 months) is holding the prize for most annoying child. He refuses to eat pretty much anything offered to him except cheese and milk, can't sleep through the night anymore unless you are sleeping with him or in his room and is in that oh so lovely NO! phase. But my little DJ found my laying on the futon this morning while S (4 years) and I played house (I was having "rest time") and he climbed up, popped his thumb in his mouth and said "Mama snuggle". Who can resist that?

I try to remember that this time is so short and I only have to reflect that my baby S was only a little baby just 4 years earlier. To think when little B (almost 4 months) will be 4 my S will be 8. That scares me so much.

And between those darling girls are my two boys Al (2.5 years) and DJ. Are you confused yet? Yes I am that mom that goes through a list of names frequently (including the cats) when I am calling on somebody sometimes, but that's what happens! My boys are so different from one another. DJ has this really strong personality and I think is just trying to really stand out and hold his own against his siblings. Sounds a bit like his grandfather from what I have heard. My Al gets lost amind the chaos frequently. He is a sweet boy who gets picked on by his older sibling and his younger. He does so well at his preschool and we see it carryover at home sometimes, but days like today he goes back to hitting when he's frustrated. Poor guy.

See it's just a jumble, like our life. As many times as I have restarted this post I can't seem to find any true flow or cohesion, but I guess that's what life's about some days. We are having our first family of 6 adventure this weekend: CAMPING! We love to camp and I am super excited about taking them. The older 2 have been asking to go camping for months and are ready. I'm nervous about DJ staying in his sleeping bag and not crawling all over everyone, especially little B. I'll let you all know how it all turns out after Monday.

So amidst the chaos of 4 kids and my one wonderful husband I am still working on this PhD. This week has been updating a methods chapter and IRB forms to make changes from my pilot work (another story for another day). See even in chaos you can be productive!

I want to close out this non-cohesive post today with an incident from last evening: as I'm leaving S's room at bedtime
S: "Mommy? I forgot to tell you something"
Me: "Yes? What is it?" in exasperation
S: "I love you Mommy!"
Me: "Love you too!"
This just reminds me that among everything else I have great kids.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

One husband.....

I want to introduce the "one husband". My husband and I have been married for 7, almost 8 years. We met in high school through the internet after I moved to a new area my senior year. He was born an raised in the midwest in the same town constantly around his family, so different from my experiences. He graduated high school and while I went the traditional route and went off to college he joined the United States Marines Corps.

We had a long distance courtship, including him being stationed in Okinawa for a year. We survived it all and I think we are stronger for it. He is an amazing man who agreed to this PhD journey, even though he had not yet finished his bachelor's degree (and still hasn't- again because of me). My wonderful husband agreed to pack up and move to another state knowing I was pregnant with our first baby and begin a new adventure........ I think, well I know, he's crazy. But he loves me, and I love him so we make it work. This is his constant phrase "we'll make it work" or "do what you need to do, we'll manage"

Now I don't know about you, but I haven't met many men who say those things are really mean them to their wives. Especially knowing that it means you may be tackling 3-4 kids by yourself, laundry, dinner, preschool, etc. by yourself all so your wife can fulfill her dream of a PhD. Did I mention that I LOVE my husband?! I can only hope that I can be as supportive to him when he finishes school as he has been to me the past 5 years.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Welcome to the craziness

Welcome all the to the crazy world that is my life. My hubby and I hear all the time "how do you do it?", so this blog is for you. I'll give you a little background information on myself and my family for the next few posts.

Me.... where to begin? I'm an only child to two wonderful and loving parents who always wanted more than just me. That being said I helped them out a bit by giving them 4 beautiful grandkids. Don't ask where I'm from, that question confuses me. Do you mean where was I born? Where did I grow-up? I was born in the midwest and moved a lot as a child. I thought it was perfectly normal to move every few years (and no, I'm not a military brat), but all-in-all it had made me who I am today and I thank my parents for the experiences they gave me living in different states and regions.

By professional occupation I am pediatric physical therapist, though I am not practicing at the moment. For the past 5+ years I have been pursuing my PhD in Rehabilitation Sciences with a focus on pediatric physical therapy. I love working with kids and I love research, I only hope that when I finish this PhD journey I can find a job that lets me work with kids and do research (crazy I know). It has been my goal and dream since I began college to earn my PhD and Lord help me, but I will finish in 2012.

My PhD journey began with looking at programs and I settled on a wonderful program that I felt suited me. When I started this journey I had been married 3 years and had 2 cats, no kids. When we moved here I was pregnant with #1. Well here we are 4 years later and I now have 4 (yes four!) kids. Baby #1 was born in 01/2007 (girl), #2 07/2008 (boy), #3 09/2009 (boy) and #4 01/2011(girl). Yes my kids are really close, and yes I was pregnant for about 4 years straight, but I love my kids and they are worth it. They may drive my completely crazy some days, but many times they are my light when this journey really brings me down.