Wednesday, December 28, 2011

FB and parenting choices

So due an overly hectic December I have been neglecting my blog. I'll have to catch you all up on the gory details in another post, but right now I have to vent a bit about parenting, FB, social media, etc. So a few nights ago I posted a FB status about wanting B to sleep, a few friends got my reference and a few sympathized with my plight. A few others also commented and while it wasn't offensive, it really got under my skin.

First off let me say I LOVE my kids. And secondly let me say so does my hubby. That being said we have been struggling with sleep issues with B. She had ear tubes put in in early December due to frequent ear infections and we hoped and prayed that those would assist her sleeping, well not so much as it turns out. We have tried multiple solutions to getting her to sleep and stay asleep (everything but cry-it-out). She is honest to goodness worse than a newborn most nights, up every 2 hours or more frequently. Honestly we could stand that IF she slept the first part of the night, say from 8-12 (or even 11) without waking, but she doesn't. On the particular night in question and the nights previous to it B would sleep in our arms peacefully all night, but would not sleep 5 minutes (not exaggerating here) in her crib. Can you imagine the stress that this puts on me as a parent and hubby and our marriage? Well it's a lot! Hence the FB post.

I am not going to apologize for my FB post (nor am I going to repeat it here, but the gist is from a book read by S. Jackson). Honestly it's FB, we all say stupid things, but it's a sounding board. Wouldn't you rather me sound-off on FB than on my kids? And seriously people think about what you are posting, just like you would think before you speak. I personally tend to think more about my FB posts/comments sometimes than when I actually do speak. Social media doesn't allow for inflection or any of that, and sometimes without meaning it you really get under someone's skin. I have thought about this FB post and the responses for days. WHY?  I felt like I was being judged and ridiculed because I was exhausted, frustrated and just wanted my daughter to sleep!

Not only did I feel like I was being judged, but that my parenting choices were being judged and found lacking. Hubby and I are doing our best but we are living in a very high stress situation and well we don't always cope with it well. I'm sorry (well I'm not really) that hubby and I made the choice to NOT let our children cry-it-out and that we have let our children sleep in bed with us. I will NEVER forget snuggling a newborn hours old to sleep in my own bed, nor waking to find a baby crawling over hubby to come snuggle with me. I cherish those moments, but sometimes I would like to be in bed with just me, or just hubby and I, and no baby. B has not let that happen in about 10 days and well that's stressful too.

So I hope that you all can imagine now what stemmed this FB post. And well if you found it offensive, honestly- I don't care! If you don't want to listen to me sound-off then you can remove me from your FB list. Enough of my ranting and raving.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year!

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