Four kids

I have started and restarted this post a number of times over the past 24 hours. I don't know how best to describe my kids to the outside world. They are funny and loveable and crazy and MINE!

I can't put into words how I feel about my kids. I love them dearly, and they amaze me frequently. And sometimes they frustrate me to no ends. Currently DJ (20 months) is holding the prize for most annoying child. He refuses to eat pretty much anything offered to him except cheese and milk, can't sleep through the night anymore unless you are sleeping with him or in his room and is in that oh so lovely NO! phase. But my little DJ found my laying on the futon this morning while S (4 years) and I played house (I was having "rest time") and he climbed up, popped his thumb in his mouth and said "Mama snuggle". Who can resist that?

I try to remember that this time is so short and I only have to reflect that my baby S was only a little baby just 4 years earlier. To think when little B (almost 4 months) will be 4 my S will be 8. That scares me so much.

And between those darling girls are my two boys Al (2.5 years) and DJ. Are you confused yet? Yes I am that mom that goes through a list of names frequently (including the cats) when I am calling on somebody sometimes, but that's what happens! My boys are so different from one another. DJ has this really strong personality and I think is just trying to really stand out and hold his own against his siblings. Sounds a bit like his grandfather from what I have heard. My Al gets lost amind the chaos frequently. He is a sweet boy who gets picked on by his older sibling and his younger. He does so well at his preschool and we see it carryover at home sometimes, but days like today he goes back to hitting when he's frustrated. Poor guy.

See it's just a jumble, like our life. As many times as I have restarted this post I can't seem to find any true flow or cohesion, but I guess that's what life's about some days. We are having our first family of 6 adventure this weekend: CAMPING! We love to camp and I am super excited about taking them. The older 2 have been asking to go camping for months and are ready. I'm nervous about DJ staying in his sleeping bag and not crawling all over everyone, especially little B. I'll let you all know how it all turns out after Monday.

So amidst the chaos of 4 kids and my one wonderful husband I am still working on this PhD. This week has been updating a methods chapter and IRB forms to make changes from my pilot work (another story for another day). See even in chaos you can be productive!

I want to close out this non-cohesive post today with an incident from last evening: as I'm leaving S's room at bedtime
S: "Mommy? I forgot to tell you something"
Me: "Yes? What is it?" in exasperation
S: "I love you Mommy!"
Me: "Love you too!"
This just reminds me that among everything else I have great kids.