I don't think I could be away from my kids on Christmas. I'd die.No, you won't die, you'll do just fine like the rest of us. You will make new traditions and you'll find peace and joy and magic in them. This is my third year as a single parent, and I'm incredibly thankful for the arrangement I have with my kids' father. I have my crew every Christmas Eve and until 2pm Christmas Day. My family has always traditionally celebrated Christmas Eve, so this allows me to keep my traditions and I get to see their excitement on Christmas morning when they see what Santa has delivered. I am known to joke quite frequently that they go off to their dad's when they have hit that crazy part of the day when you're like go outside, go take a nap or go do something because you're driving me nuts! Just because I joke about it doesn't make it any easier to close that door as they load into their dad's car. But the truth is they NEED to see their dad and spend time with him and his family on the holidays. It's not fair to him or them, so I smile and send them off with love and hugs, knowing they'll be back tomorrow night late and all is fine.
Two years ago one of my dear friends blessed me prior to my first single parent Christmas as I was unsure what I was going to do; she told me to have a non-traditional Christmas, to go to the movies and order in Chinese food. Two years ago it was the best present I could give myself. I had just survived my first single parent Christmas in a boot and with an exorcism style vomiting child on Christmas eve. My eldest son was violently ill all over his shared bedroom (luckily missing his younger brother sleeping on the bottom bunk). There I was slugging along in my boot, having just finished setting up as Santa, trying to negotiate a sick kid and keeping all the goodies a surprise. When my kiddos left that Christmas Day I packed up, drove to the movies, enjoyed myself and came home to another movie and Chinese food.
Last year I skipped going to the movies and had a mini-movie marathon at my house, complete with Chinese, wine and leftover mimosas. I sat on my couch, enjoyed myself and texted with a few friends. I was content, at peace and just happy. I was truly at peace with how my life was, despite how different it was from what I experienced as a child.
This year originally looked to be shaping up to be a little different than the previous 2 years, but in the end it was similar. My kids served at the Christmas Eve mass, we had dinner with my parents, opened gifts and I had them in bed before 10. I played Santa and was able to get to bed around 11:30 after prepping everything for the next day. My kiddos were super excited to come rushing down the stairs and see their gifts. We played with their things, ate breakfast and enjoyed the magic of the day. When their dad arrived to pick them up they were off the wall excited to see him and spend time with him. It's this that I keep in mind when I have a few moments of missing them. They love him and need this time. I myself packed up myself and headed to the movies. I had hopes that I might have a friend join me, but that fell through. And it's ok. I enjoyed my movie, enjoyed coming home and watching another movie and eating my Chinese food while finishing up the last of the mimosas and scrolling through Facebook loving everyone's pictures.
There's a magic at Christmastime if you just look around for the miracles.
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