There is not a single word that can describe the year of 2024. There was laughter, joy, compassion, tears, heartache, pain, and indescribable bonds. My house was a construction zone, a nightmare at times. It was no longer a safe haven, a place to relax; it was simply a space to endure and exist as they drilled, hammered, made huge messes, and frustrated me to tears. I often felt adrift without a space to call my own, sanctuary lacking, though sanctuary was found and created in a new space, an unexpected one. One that at times terrified me, while still exciting me. A space that was freely offered by the incredible man in my life; what started as a simple workstation, a place to get away from the noise, dust, and disturbance of construction became my lifeline. From there it spread to more spaces within his home, and now his home is a sanctuary of its own for me. There is something in the simple act of having your own space within another's that creates bonds.
As 2024 progressed so did my own personal journey. There were old traumas to address: the pain, hurt, anger, frustration, and disappointment at having my life upended, losing the person I considered my best friend, and moving from simply surviving to living. I cried, I wrote, I had therapy sessions that left me drained, and through this I have found my footing. While much of the future is not yet planned, I am healing enough to start planning. It's little things like a trip this summer with my family, and how it will be to take S off to college; as well as larger things like what life looks like 5 years from now when my crew have graduated high school and are no longer home full-time. A year ago looking that far ahead was impossible, today it is something I can begin to envision and shape. I find myself looking at a future that includes companionship of the best kinds: solid relationships with my children and a best friend that loves me. It continues to be a change to think of life in terms of 6, not 5, to shift my words and phrases and thoughts of doing so much solo to knowing that I have a partner. There have been so many moments over the past year where I could have chosen the easy path and let the trauma, pain, and hurt of the past overtake me, damage my relationship, and I find myself beyond grateful for the work to get me here today.
From one that has spent so many years being solo, and doing things solo for a multitude of reasons 2024 has gifted me opportunity for community and companionship. There were muddy hikes and kayaks with a friend that brought me such joy, walks in the woods with my man and his pup, volcano hiking with my kids and mom, beach-time with my kids and parents, and snowboarding with family. Last year we ended the year with a 2 day trip to trial snowboarding, and this year we ended it with another snowboarding adventure. There were 2 days of laughter, falls, joy, and growth in the Poconos. Progress was made with each of us and I found myself reflecting back on our time from last year as we fell, slipped, crashed, and laughed. Last year I remember looking down the mountain and finding that person there just for me, cheering me on for doing nothing more than not falling; this year they were there doing that too, yet the dynamics have changed and there was a smile and hug waiting for me from one that loves me. In the space of a year we have created a tradition that I hope carries forward with the 6 of us.
I know that 2025 brings forth intense change with S going off to college, G starting their journey towards college, and the end of middle school for B. These are the known changes and as always there will be a host of unexpected changes. I did not expect to be unemployed for months in 2024, yet it has brought me back to my roots of pediatric physical therapy and I find myself thriving in treating kids in their homes as I did as a new graduate, a full circle moment. 2024 brought me the opportunity to teach PT students 2 mornings a week in a daycare. These students have reminded me in the best of ways that there is a wealth of things I know after being told repeatedly I simply didn't know things over the past few years. With 2025 upon us there are new traditions being established with snowboarding trips, family vacations for 6, and adventures for 2 and 6. This past year has been intense for me, for my kids, and for the incredible man in my life. There has been so much that I would change, yet if changing any of things did not land me where I sit in this moment I am not sure I would opt to change them. The trajectory for 2025 and onward is filled with joy, laughter, change, adventure, and companionship, all things simple and beautiful.
