For the past 36 hours I have watched my best friend begin an incredible adventure. One in which they are continuing to follow a dream and are taking incredible steps to make the vision become alive and tangible. I have cried happy tears at the pictures and videos, simple joy at watching my dear friend find success. A new beginning is success, just as an ending is.

A short month ago we were both to begin new journeys, both fulfilling dreams that we have held close and worked diligently towards. Then a setback for my friend, one that threatened to take away this adventure, change everything, and alter life to a course in opposition to the vision. In the midst of their setback came my own, and we both found ourselves unstable in life. Our momentum stalled, sputtered, and we carried each other as best we could. There were long phone calls, texts, and a vulnerability between us that we had not previously shared. I watched in awe as a small community rallied with my best friend, supported in a way I could not, and I watched my friend begin to recover their vision, momentum, direction. In turn I waited for my own turning point, a clearer path forward, yet with each small forward movement another obstacle arrived. As my best friend finds momentum I find myself staring at these obstacles, forward movement at a minimum. The tears threaten to overflow at these ongoing challenges, and they do in small moments bursting with sadness and frustration. I would like us both to be on the adventures that we have envisioned, and I am not. 

In truth I am on adventure, it is not what was envisioned, not what was planned, not what was wanted. There is no peace on this new adventure, there is minimal joy, there is a lot of heartache, sadness, and anxiety. I know that it is a moment in time, that it will change, and that for now I must endure, but it does not prevent the pain. It does not prevent me from wondering when my own dream will be actualized as I observe my best friend begin to attain theirs. I am happy for them, thrilled especially at the joy and peace they are finding, yet I am sad within my being. This adventure of mine tears at me, creates anxiety that comes out on my skin, small itchy blisters on my fingers and hands, briefly held at bay with medication. It is an adventure that I hope will soon transform to what I had envisioned, what my best friend and I had both envisioned.

There remains a piece of hope that my own journey will find forward momentum and I will find peace as my best friend is finding theirs. Parallel adventures. For now I find joy in their adventure, as I await changes in mine.