Leilah Grace Adventures: The AT from CT to MA

Now that you've met Leilah Grace you need to hear about her latest adventure. I find it difficult to believe that 2 weeks ago I was asleep in a tent in Massachusetts along the AT. In fact it was my third night on the trail, with one more to go. Now, I sit in the comfort of my home under a blanket with a cat on my lap and 1 at my feet. How quickly time flies.

Two weeks ago over the holiday weekend I planned my first long hike and state crossing on the AT. I planned to hike 50 miles from Thursday afternoon to Monday morning, from northern Connecticut to a planned pickup in Lee, MA on the north side of Mass Pike. It would be my longest hike, and yet I was confident in my abilities, despite the fact that this would only be my third trip, and second solo.

I parked my car at the trailhead in CT, used the privy (bonus!) and off I went, straight up the mountain. There were no nerves, no fears, just me trying to settle into a heavier pack (yes I had my sleeping bag this time) and find that rhythm. It didn't take long for me to find my hiker legs. I knew I needed to cover at least 5 miles so that I wouldn't be forced to cover so many miles over the next coming days. That Thursday I tackled almost 8 miles and bagged my first state crossing. What I didn't anticipate was with the change in seasons that it would be dark earlier. I found myself pushing harder the last few miles to get to the camping area at Laurel Ridge as the sun was setting and I was hiking along the beautiful Sages Ravine.

It was as I approached the campsite that I realized I was nervous, I hadn't seen another hiker in a few hours and I realized there was a very strong possibility I would be camping alone. Luck was with me as I rounded the corner into the closest camping area and found a couple working on their dinner. They were there with their lovely 165# Great Dane, we called him bear repellant. I had the fun experience of hanging out with these lovely random strangers for a bit while we cooked and I set up my tent. I certainly felt more at peace knowing that there were other humans 50ft away from my tent. I also slept better cuddled into my down sleeping bag than I had on my last trip.

Friday brought sunrise, breaking my tent down and heading out. I was excited and peaceful and just happy. My hike brought me the beautiful surprise of hiking along the beautiful Laurel Ridgeline. Being October in MA the leaves were turning, the sun was out and I was in awe of the beauty that surrounded me. I couldn't help but be grateful for the opportunity to be out in this beautiful place. I was truly at peace hiking and enjoying the creations around me. I met a section hiker named Retro and we made a tentative plan for camping together later in the evening. As sunset rolled around he was nowhere to be found, I'm sure he was farther down the trail, but I needed to make camp.

Here it was, my first night truly alone. I won't lie and say I wasn't nervous- I was. I was camped next to a river with my tent backed up to the forest. It was a nice little spot and fairly protected, but I still was nervous. I had cell service and checked in with some friends, one of whom assured me that I would be just fine. That vote of confidence was the boost I needed. I did sleep a bit more fitfully, but I did it!

Saturday morning my biggest concern was water, I had about 1.25-1.5L on me and the river was not accessible. On top of that the next water crossing included contaminated water and dry sources. I had the potential of a 6 mile hike with only that water on me, for which I needed to drink and cook breakfast and clean my dishes. I was down to about 1L when I set out that morning, which I rationed out slowly as I passed dry after dry water source. It was a 6 mile hike before I found a flowing source, which involved a side trail and 1/4 mile straight downhill. For my dear Backbone's reference- just about as bad our side trail for water on our trip. The stress of minimal water and rationing water made Saturday a challenging day. I was dehydrated, tired and still had another 6 miles to go, really I wanted to do another 8, but the toll it took on my body physically and mentally was too much.

I ended my night Saturday at the closer of the 2 shelters where I was not allowed in the shelter due to some day-hikers. There was room for me in the 6 person shelter, but it wasn't worth starting an argument. Thus I pitched my tent. Truly though there were two highlights of my hike on Saturday. One was the man I ran into after my water stop who was carrying a pizza box and complaining about the hike to the shelter. He jokingly offered me some of his pizza; I almost grabbed the box and ran. There's no way he would have caught me! The second highlight of my Saturday was being approached while eating dinner in front of the shelter by a dad who asked if I minded if he smoked some weed. I told him it was fine, to which he then offered me some, claiming it was "high quality." I politely declined (just not my thing) and thanked him for his courtesy. I did learn the following day that it's legal in MA so all was good.

Then came Sunday, a high mileage day. I had 15 miles to cover to the next shelter and I needed to do it to make my Monday morning pickup. Within the first 2 miles of the trail I stumbled badly, my right pole jammed between rocks, my right foot planted, my body twisting right and then left. I felt a pop and pressure in my right ankle and then pain. Not excruciating pain, but pain nonetheless. Here I was at the point of one of my biggest fears- potentially injured, alone in the woods, and likely no cell service. I shook off the ankle and continued to hike. I could put weight on it, and at times it was painfree. After 5 or so miles of hiking on the ankle I was in near tears, my ankle was intermittently throbbing, my legs were burning from the steep descent and my left leg was significantly more tired as I was offloading the right as much as possible. Then, there in sight was a road, and bonus that there was a little gravel area with a stump. I doffed my pack, found I had service and spent 10 minutes debating texting Backbone and my other friend what I should do in my predicament while I rested against the stump. I knew if I was debating then I was avoiding the appropriate choice- to pull myself off the trail. So what did Leilah Grace do? She tossed on her pack, took 5 steps onto the trail, and then turned right back around, somewhat defeated, but confirmed in her choice to pull off the trail.

Pulling myself off the trail was one of the most difficult choices that I have had to made. It felt like quitting. I contacted my ride to come and get me, some day hikers stopped to check on me and gave her directions to where exactly to find me and then found a the trail maintainer while they were out hiking and told him about me. This man came and drove me down to a lower elevation and more visible spot to be picked up. These day hikers and trail maintainer were my angels that day, along with my ride who picked me up a day early. My biggest fear had been conquered, and as much as it felt like quitting I knew I had made a sound choice. I am very cautious about my right ankle from previous experience where I thought I sprained it and having it actually be fractured, so this memory was rampant with me on that Sunday. I just didn't want to have to be rescued because I made a poor choice on the trail.

By late Sunday night I was in my own home and my own bed. It was a surreal experience. I am proud of the 38 some odd miles that I completed, still a little bummed that I didn't complete my entire trek, but as my hiking buds remind me- the trail will be waiting. For now I'm embracing the ankle brace for another 2 weeks, and then I will be back to hiking.

There were a lot of lessons learned on this trip, and lots of fun to be had. I met some fun section hikers, odd day hikers, amazing day hikers and fell even more in love with hiking. There's just something amazing and freeing about carrying all you need on you, and the self reliance it creates. The trail continues to call me and Leilah Grace will return for more adventures, but for now she's resting her ankle and following doctor's orders.

Welcome Leilah Grace

I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of my crew, Leilah Grace. Now before you get all crazy excited thinking I've added another child, partner or animal to my household, it's none of the above. Leilah Grace is me. I know you're confused, wait, isn't your name Gina? Yup, still is in fact, but Leilah Grace is also me. In the hiking community, at least on the Appalachian Trail, hikers often have trail names, maybe you've heard of Odyssa or Anish, two crazy amazing record setting, inspirational female thru hikers or maybe not. Regardless, often out on the trail you are gifted or earn a trail name. Tradition says it's a gift from someone else, but so many of the memorable people on the trails, such as these amazing women or Wrongfoot give themselves the power and create their own name.

For me, Leilah Grace, was my own gift. Funny thing, is I figured that I would be a purist and wait until someone gifted me with my trail name, but Labor Day weekend when I went on that first solo trip sometime during that night of fitful cold sleeping the name came to me a in dream. It stayed with me the entire trip and has rattled around in my head ever since. I took the time to learn more about trail names, etiquette and such from a fabulous AT women's hiking group on Facebook, and finally decided that if the name was sent to me I needed to use it. Who am I to ignore a sign and gift from above? Thus, when I set out for the holiday weekend I claimed my name. Everyone I met on the trail was introduced to Leilah Grace, the crazy solo hiking mom from PA. It was such that when I was talking to a friend I almost introduced myself as her.

It's not that she's a different person than I am, she's just a piece of me, like being a mom is a piece of me. Not a defining label or separating factor. Leilah Grace is just who I am on the trail. She's still a mom to 4 amazing, crazy kids. She's still a PhD PT, Epic analyst builder, and gymnastics coach, but she's also this amazing woman who can hike 12-20 miles a day carrying a 30# pack, pitch her tent, cook her supper and crawl into bed alone. Leilah Grace is fearless, independent and goal-oriented. Doesn't she sound just like me? It's not an alter ego, I am not Diana Prince morphing into Wonder Woman, I am still Gina on the trail, just showcasing a different piece of her.

There's something indescribable about waking up to the sunrise, packing up and setting off into the forest trail or mountain ridge in the morning with the sounds of the birds and wind and trees. Leilah Grace gets to experience that in a way that Gina does not. Gina is typically accompanied by 4 said crazy wonderful children, Leilah Grace is unencumbered and uninhibited. It's a beautiful place to be as a person. You can follow along at her adventures on IG at #leilahgraceadventures

This is Me

I think that one of the most important lessons that you can learn is who you are, despite the fact that we are ever evolving. It struck me tonight more than usual as I was driving back from a surprise fun errand and This Is Me came on. I love the power behind this song. It speaks to me on so many levels, and tonight the song was just the reminder and reinforcement that I needed for what I had just done. I did a silly little thing leaving a surprise gift for a dear person in my life, nothing major, but something that is defining characteristic of who I am.

Me. Just me. How do I define me? I used to claim mom, wife, physical therapist, runner, but never "me." Ask me who I am now and I'm me. Not "just" me, but ME. The rest are just labels that others use to describe parts of me, but they are not the entire part of me. It's crucial to separate yourself from the labels and define yourself as an individual. This has been of the most important, but difficult lessons that I have had to learn over the past 2 years. With the decision to divorce I lost a label and my identity. I lost what felt like a large part of me because I identified my individual being with that label. I know now that I am not a label, I am me, uniquely, spectacular me.

I am an adventurer, runner, hiker, mother, friend, physical therapist, gymnastics coach, and so many other labels and adjectives. I am from nowhere and everywhere. I am the one who likes to surprise people with things because it's one of my ways of showing them that I care and that they are on my mind. I am the one who will pester you until you share what's going on because I know how challenging it is to go through difficult situations and feel like you have no one. I am the one who will send you a check-in text and really is interested in your daily routine, not just the highlights reel. I'll give you advice or I can be quiet and listen, in fact I'll ask you what you want when I find myself in that situation, just ask my friends.

I am me, and this is me. I'm not liked by everyone and it's finally taken me a long time to accept that I am not going to get everyone to like me. If you don't like me, well, you're the one missing out. Harsh? Maybe, but it's my truth and my life. I will not be defined by my own labels or your labels. Ever listened to homecoming queen? by Kelsea Ballerini and she sings:

What if I told you the world wouldn't end
Even the homecoming queen cries
Yeah, what if I told you the sky wouldn't fall
If you lost your composure, said to hell with it all?
If you started showing what's under your skin?
What if you let 'em all in on the lie?

I wasn't homecoming queen, but for all the world to see for a while I had that "perfect" life. It was an illusion and me hiding behind those labels and hiding from myself. I've changed and grown and embraced the woman that I am.

This is me. I am me. This is my life, my choice, embrace me and walk with me.