Tonight I sit here at my computer and reflect on the past 4 years as I have the election coverage in the background. I can't help but reflect on what I was doing 4 years ago on election night. Four years ago, on election night as we all sat watching the contest between Clinton and Trump come to head my life reached a critical moment. It was that evening that I shared with my husband at the time that I was unhappy, miserable, and wanted a separation. Not a divorce, but a separation. Our divorce came months down the road.
I sat that there that night in fear. Fear of his reaction, fear of my choice, fear of the impact of my choice on my children, and feeding on the general public fear that Trump was gaining ground. I was terrified, shaking, but I found the strength and courage to have that conversation. It was not easy, and it took all of me to make it through my statement. That evening as I slept on the couch I found my body depleted in a new way, but also at peace. How could such a traumatic moment in my life give me peace?
As I reflect back to those moments 4 years ago I am thankful for the courage I gained that night, and the courage that has continued to be with me since then. It was one of the most difficult nights of my life, but I found courage among the fear. More importantly, I found myself. I can see now with 4 years of life behind me, that in that moment I found a new love and respect for myself. That courage, love, and respect have fueled these past 4 years in creating this new life. They have given me the strength to keep fighting for a life I love and one that loves me back. I will use these gifts to continue my life less ordinary.
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