FB and parenting choices

So due an overly hectic December I have been neglecting my blog. I'll have to catch you all up on the gory details in another post, but right now I have to vent a bit about parenting, FB, social media, etc. So a few nights ago I posted a FB status about wanting B to sleep, a few friends got my reference and a few sympathized with my plight. A few others also commented and while it wasn't offensive, it really got under my skin.

First off let me say I LOVE my kids. And secondly let me say so does my hubby. That being said we have been struggling with sleep issues with B. She had ear tubes put in in early December due to frequent ear infections and we hoped and prayed that those would assist her sleeping, well not so much as it turns out. We have tried multiple solutions to getting her to sleep and stay asleep (everything but cry-it-out). She is honest to goodness worse than a newborn most nights, up every 2 hours or more frequently. Honestly we could stand that IF she slept the first part of the night, say from 8-12 (or even 11) without waking, but she doesn't. On the particular night in question and the nights previous to it B would sleep in our arms peacefully all night, but would not sleep 5 minutes (not exaggerating here) in her crib. Can you imagine the stress that this puts on me as a parent and hubby and our marriage? Well it's a lot! Hence the FB post.

I am not going to apologize for my FB post (nor am I going to repeat it here, but the gist is from a book read by S. Jackson). Honestly it's FB, we all say stupid things, but it's a sounding board. Wouldn't you rather me sound-off on FB than on my kids? And seriously people think about what you are posting, just like you would think before you speak. I personally tend to think more about my FB posts/comments sometimes than when I actually do speak. Social media doesn't allow for inflection or any of that, and sometimes without meaning it you really get under someone's skin. I have thought about this FB post and the responses for days. WHY?  I felt like I was being judged and ridiculed because I was exhausted, frustrated and just wanted my daughter to sleep!

Not only did I feel like I was being judged, but that my parenting choices were being judged and found lacking. Hubby and I are doing our best but we are living in a very high stress situation and well we don't always cope with it well. I'm sorry (well I'm not really) that hubby and I made the choice to NOT let our children cry-it-out and that we have let our children sleep in bed with us. I will NEVER forget snuggling a newborn hours old to sleep in my own bed, nor waking to find a baby crawling over hubby to come snuggle with me. I cherish those moments, but sometimes I would like to be in bed with just me, or just hubby and I, and no baby. B has not let that happen in about 10 days and well that's stressful too.

So I hope that you all can imagine now what stemmed this FB post. And well if you found it offensive, honestly- I don't care! If you don't want to listen to me sound-off then you can remove me from your FB list. Enough of my ranting and raving.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year!

How I do it....... YOGURT

So I have been experimenting with dairy this past month or so, and decided to attempt making yogurt in my crockpot. Here is the site where I got the original recipe, but I have modified it a bit. Everyone told me it was easy, but I honestly didn't understand how easy it really was. Prior to today only my family had enjoyed our yogurt, but today we shared it at our preschool for the Thanksgiving feast. It was a big hit and I had multiple requests for the recipe, so here it is.

Equipment:

• 1 crockpot (mine is a large 7qt, use the largest you own)
• polar fleece blanket
• some form of a timer
• candy thermometer (optional, but I highly recommend, mine was $10 at Meijer's)

Ingredients:

• 1 gallon of milk
• 1 8oz container greek style yogurt- plain (I used the yoplait brand because it was on sale)
• 1 cup sugar (or other sweetner, you can use more if you like it really sweet)
• 1 probiotic capsule (optional, I have them in the house for my kids when they are sick)

Directions:

1. Pour 1 gallon of milk into your crockpot.
2. Turn on LOW and heat for 4 hours. Set a timer to remind yourself, I use my phone.
3. Check the temperature at the 4 hour mark, you really want it close to 185 to make sure you have killed any bacteria already existing in the milk. If it's not there leave it for about 30 more minutes.
4. Turn off and unplug your crockpot.
5. Stir in your 1 cup of sugar/sweetner.
6. Let the crockpot sit covered to cool for 3 hours. Set your timer again.
7. Check the temperature at the 3 hour mark, it should have cooled to about 119. If not let it cool another 30 minutes.
8. Ladle out about 1 cup of hot milk into a clean bowl and stir in the store bought yogurt (when you have made your own yogurt, you can just use your remainder) and the probiotic capsule (if using).
9. Add the yogurt mixture back to the warm milk and stir well.
10. Cover your crockpot and wrap in a warm blanket.
11. Let it sit for 8-10 hours overnight undisturbed.
12. In the morning open your crockpot and you should have yogurt (about 1 gallon worth)!

Now I should note that some will say you can enjoy your yogurt immediately, and others say you need to let it finish setting for 10-24 hours. We have enjoyed it immediately and let it sit. Generally I let it sit a day to "finish". Also if you like thick, greek style yogurt you can strain in through cheese cloth to thicken it.

My only other note is PLEASE check the capacity of your crockpot prior to starting. The directions for a smaller crockpot would be less milk and shorter times, I would recommend you go here (the recipe I originally started with) if you want to compare.

Hope you all enjoy!

Parenting, partners and thoughts

So we went to an interesting talk last evening hosted by our preschool. It a was professor from the local university speaking about marriage, the good, the bad, the ugly of it all and conflict. It was a really great lecture. Taught me stuff I didn't know and demystified some myths about marriage and conflict. The overall concept was that conflict is a part of marraige.

One of the major things that I took away from that lecture was that physiologically we can become attuned and primed for conflict. If you are always in conflict your body will think that this is the norm, hence it makes it difficult for you to be in a calm state. The lecture focused on marriage and conflict, but this physiological aspect made me reflect on my personal parenting issues (see previous posts) and started me thinking that I have primed myself into conflict (ie my temper) with my kids. I have become so accustomed to the yelling that my BODY (not just my brain) thinks it's the norm. THAT my friends was a wake-up call. So today I started the journey, again, to maintain my temper better with my children. It's a struggle, a BIG one for me. And now I somewhat understand why- I'm not only fighting my own emotions, but a physical reaction (see increased heart-rate, blood pressure, adrenaline pumping).That adrenaline rush is a great feeling, so to have to restrain yourself from it makes it all the more difficult.

The other focus from the lecture was positivity and your partner. If we could spend 5 minutes a day personally reflecting on the positive aspects of our partner then we would build physical (ie neurological) pathways that would eventually overtake the traditional negative pathways that our brain likes to take. Our brain is generally wired to immediately fall along the negative path when things get stressful, but by positive daily reflection you are literally changing the way your brain processes information. When the conflict arises in your marriage your "new brain" will have an easier time staying positive or at the very least not harping on the negative.

So my reflection for the day about my hubby- he is a dedicated father, hardworking at his job and at home and he loves me for who I am (neurotic as I may be).