SuperMom or not........

So following a FB discussion with a friend of mine about "supermoms" I decided to blog about how I am only human like the rest of us. We all have our moments and the general consensus is that most blogs we read about moms appear to be supermoms who never lose their temper, scream at their kids, etc. Well let me tell you I AM NO SUPERMOM.

I have a horrible temper! Anyone who knows me can attest to this, especially these past few months with little sleep from Miss B, our entire family has had a very short fuse. I hate when I lose my temper with my kids because they are being, well kids! The reality is that some mornings we can't be awake for more than 10 minutes before the yelling begins. It's awful! So again, to all of you out there wondering how we do it, I am not always cool, calm and collected. I can and do lose my temper and yell, and I will admit that my children have been known to flinch from my yelling. Personally I don't like the yelling and I know that it is not effective, but when you are as stressed as we have been for the last 6+ months  it just happens. I know that is a crappy excuse, but it is what it is. I am trying to change my ways, but it is so easy to slip back into horrid habits (and horrid is the best way I can describe it!)

I love the concept of peaceful parenting, but honestly sometimes it just doesn't work when you have four little ones. I feel like so many of the parenting books these days are geared towards those with 1 or 2 kids or more kids that are further spaced apart. I have yet to find a resource for a mama with four kids 4 and under who is neither a stay-at-home mama nor a working mama (which is another blog for another day). So, supermom I am not when it comes to parenting and disciplining my kids.


Let me give you an idea of how most mornings go at our home:

• boys wake up in their room and talk for a few minutes, which quickly progresses to DJ screaming NO! repeatedly and Al crying.
• Hubby or I go in and say lets get up, get dressed and calm our bodies and voices down
• DJ yells NO! (don't you love the two's?!)
• Parent leaves the room to get dressed, check on the girls, etc.
• Yelling and crying continues in boys' room
• Parent yells out to boys get dressed, get moving, etc.
• Yelling and cyring continues
• S is in the hallway talking to the boys over the gate not getting herself ready.
• Parent asks her (again- likely the 3rd or 4th time) to leave them alone and focus on herself.....
• Myself or hubby loses temper and begins yelling (really loudly) to get up, get dressed, go potty, make beds. Doors, drawers, etc. get slammed in the process.

No this is not an exaggeration, but a typical morning at our home......... *sigh*
It will get better I know, but for now we keep trying to make our mornings, our lives filled with less yelling. So you remember when you're reading those supermom blogs, we are all human and I bet each and everyone of those supermoms has yelled and lost their temper with their kids. I know I do, and I'm not a supermom.

Where have we been

Well, some of you may be wondering where we (I) have been. Life got a little out of control the past 2 months. Between preschool restarting, finishing up data collection on a few subjects, planning and hosting a birthday party and getting minimal sleep I haven't had a chance to update this blog! And yes I promise pictures to come soon.

So, first things first: The dissertation is getting there. I have had 3 subjects successfully complete the intervention portion of the study and all three are just waiting on their 1-month follow-up. I unfortunately had to let one subject end participation early due to lack of progress, but I did enroll another subject! My current subject who just enrolled is a joy (not that the others haven't been), but I get lots of hugs (unprompted and usually unexpected) and he's just FUN! The only drawback is that he lives about ~45minutes from my house, so lots of driving......... oh well!

Our little baby B has had 2 ear infections in the past 6-8 weeks, so on top of usual crankiness this is just making things worse. We are praying that she is not following in her big brother's footsteps in needing tubes, but if she gets another ear infection in the next month we will be going to the ENT. I do not want to risk her hearing or language development. On top of the ear issues, she's still not sleeping, we had one magical night a few weeks ago of 7 hours of sleep from her in her crib in her S's room, but nothing since then.....*sigh* We are working at trying to figure out what is going on with her sleep issues, but our own lack of sleep makes it difficult. I think we may begin tracking all of her sleep, eating, diapers, to try to find out what's going on...... I'm sure my sitter will love that.......

Speaking of big brother DJ turned 2! When I started this blog I had in mind that on each of my child's birthdays I would post something special about them. Well, I missed his, but I will try to get something up about him. He started at the preschool this fall and is generally loving it. It's a great opportunity for him to be separate from his siblings and find his own way.

So Al and S are now in the same preschool program (last year Al was in the Two's like DJ). We were really concerned about them, mostly about S bossing and directing Al around. I think this happened a bit in the beginning, but when I was there on Tuesday they were pretty well separate. It should be an interesting parent-teacher conference next week.

I love my children's preschool. They attend a co-operative preschool, where there is loads of opportunity for free play and parent involvement is mandatory. They have everything from dress-up to free-art, directed art to imaginary play, sensory activities and lots of time for gross motor play. One of my favorite things about our preschool is the gross motor time. They have a great outdoor space and they rarely let things like weather prevent them from going outside. I was looking at pictures the other day on their FB page and there were so many of them outside in their winter gear just playing. It is so important to me both as a parent and as a PT that kids get outside and move their bodies. This preschool is a great fit for us and personally I love the chance to come and work in the classrooms with my kids. If you ever have a choice between a co-operating preschool and a traditional one, my personal choice would be a co-operating one.

So I hope that answers where we (I) have been the past bit, and I will be making more updates now that I will not be gone 5/7 nights a week doing dissertation study visits.

Mommy guilt

As a mom I experience my fair share of "mommy guilt". Don't we all? I shouldn't have said that, done that, etc. Somedays are certainly worse than others, and as my hubby will point out my temper is worse when blood sugar is low, so mealtimes are probably the worst. Days like today when B falls asleep in the car on the way home from the farmer's market sound like a great way to get a meal ready, but then tempers flare in the kitchen because to me it is more important to get my kids food ready than me. So today I got their lunches together and in the midst B woke up and I had to let her cry while I finished preparing (mommy guilt #1). I hate leaving her in her car seat screaming, but it's faster to finish the task at hand sometimes than grab her and get back to work.

After fixing the 3 lunches I grabbed her and fed her, because I knew she just needed to eat and get back to sleep. Well in the midst of feeding B I heard commotion in the kitchen. Lord only knows what was going on, but DJ's plate was on the floor and S and Al had eaten some, but not a lot. My temper flared and I sent them off to bed with the instructions to put away the milk cups and leave out their lunch- they could have it for snack. B was carrying on in her crib while I got DJ ready and found that S and Al had thrown all their food in the trashcan. Temper continued to flare and stupidly told them no snack today since they threw their food away. Well we haven't had snack yet today, but I will give them one, since it was mommy temper (major mommy guilt) due to low blood sugar that started the whole escapade.

Managed to get a little food in my belly since B had fussed herself to sleep (more mommy guilt) and wallah! temper fixed. I hate when I miss the signs that lead to me to have a temper due to blood sugar.

On the flip side of mommy guilt I REFUSE to have mommy guilt about dropping my kids off at the Y daycare (even if I just picked them up from the sitter) so I can squeeze in a run. I run/exercise for me so I can be healthy for me and my kids.

To take a note from friend. Today's lesson: sometimes mommy guilt is good and sometimes it just stinks!